Khao Sok to Phuket, Thailand

Thai food has many essential ingredients - lemongrass, ginger, basil, rice. But, after two visits to this wonderful country over the past six months, and having eaten more than my fair share of sumptuous meals, I'm confident I've found the most added ingredient... sugar syrup. Iced tea, iced coffee, fruit shakes, in fact all of their drinks from juice to cocktails are loaded with the zappy liquid.

All Thais love 'khonum', or sweets. Walk into a general store and the front table is filled to overflowing with brightly coloured treats, usually based on rice, coconuts, bananas and rocket fuel, sorry, sugar syrup. In my more cynical moments, I imagine that's why they are so often described as a sweet-natured people. They're full of the stuff!

Don't get me wrong. If I was banished to a deserted island (perhaps for crimes against poetry?) with my choice of chef, I'd be hard-pressed choosing between an Italian, a French person and a Thai. But, I'm glad that each time I've been here, I've ridden an average of one hundred kilometres per day on my bicycle to work off all those calories. Can I take my bicycle to the deserted island?

The ride today begins in Khoa Sok National Park and it's an easy eleven kilometre warm-up before our first real mountain climb of the tour. Four kilometres, with an average gradient of 6%. Not too difficult, with expansive views of the limestone kaarsts and jungle. And my riding partners are kind enough to wait at the summit for me. 'I'm not sweating,' I gasp, 'I've just had a quick dip in the waterfall a few hundred metres back.' That's my excuse anyway!

And even better than a four kilometre climb is a seven kilometre downhill. Whooaa! I lead the peleton all the way... until we hit another hill. I'm saving my energy... for the next climb. Don't you know that the last place-getter in the Tour De France is celebrated as a national hero and regularly scores massive sponsorship contracts? Maybe there's method in my sluggishness? Or too much 'khonum' this morning.

At the seventy-kilometre mark, we catch our first glimpse of the Andaman Sea - azure calm water, much more inviting than the windy Gulf. We stop for lunch in a thatched hut on the beach. Grilled chicken, squid with lime, papaya salad with prawns and a lemon shake with... sugar syrup. For the kilometres still ahead. The calm sea is invitingly close, but the thought of riding with a salt-encrusted chamois means we watch the children and holidaymakers lolling in the water. I console myself with another slice of pineapple before hopping back in the saddle for a sprint, okay a slow cruise, down the highway to Khao Lak, our overnight stop.

And what a shock our resort at Khao Lak is. Sofa to sofa overweight sunburnt holidaymakers, smoking and eating themselves into oblivion. I'm no lightweight, but here I feel like a supermodel, albeit without the cheekbones, silly walk and even sillier clothes, lime green lycra excepted. Still, it is a beautiful location to swim and soak weary muscles.

We walk up to the main drag to buy a dozen 'I love Khoa Lak' t-shirts; two ornamental elephants sculptured from endangered rainforest wood; four authentic Thai table runners; three antique Thai silk scarves; and a pair of Ray Bans for three dollars. Gee, Ray Bans have really dropped in price since the GFC! It's feeding time at the souvenir market.

The next day is our final one, a one hundred kilometre push into Phuket. The first fifty kilometres is on the highway and yet again I'm impressed with the road manners of Thai drivers. And the road surface makes for easy cruising.

Despite this, our guide, John, takes a turn off the highway and we're transported back into a rural Thailand of palm oil plantations, old men on scooters and tumbledown huts. Just north of Phuket, before rejoining the highway, we cycle beside pristine white sand beaches and designer homes of tinted glass and polished wood. It's fantasyland, where rich westerners have built their paradise plot, only thirty minutes drive from Phuket International Airport. New resorts are springing up faster than a street dog chasing a cyclist. I give paradise another fifteen years before it's Phuketed!

Back on the highway, we have lunch at what can only be described as a truck stop. A pity. Every meal except this one has been delicious. I'll remember this meal... for the flies. We have a choice after lunch... thirty kilometres with hills or without. We choose the hills. After eight hundred kilometres, why not.

Two minutes before the first climb, a thunderstorm sweeps in from the sea. The road surface is slippery and there's no chance of getting out of the saddle without spinning the back wheel. I watch the heart rate on my Garmin skyrocket. Uuummm... perhaps I should have chosen an alternate route. The clouds disappear as quickly as they arrived and we tackle the next four hills. The gradient peaks at 25%, but, thankfully only for a few metres before tapering back to the mid-teens. It makes the descent into Surin Beach and our final destination all the sweeter. The 'khonum' of cycling, you might say.

We freewheel into the resort and shake hands at our safe arrival. We've cycled eight hundred and forty kilometres in nine marvellous days. Our tour guides John and Prim have been dedicated and sensitive to our every need. I'd highly recommend http://tourdeasia.org if you're planning a cycle tour of Thailand.

Best riding: the cruise along the Andaman Sea just before crossing the bridge to Phuket.

Worst riding: Perhaps the highway. Certainly not the hills. They were fun.

Can I have some more, please? the squid with lime, chicken BBQ on the beach at Twin Brothers Restaurant, Surin, Phuket.

You call that food: A watermelon shake so sweet...

Accommodation: Baan Khao Lak, Khao Lak. ($$, large cottages on the beach, a true cyclist's breakfast)

ManaThai Resort, Surin Beach, Phuket ($$, quiet, close to beach, miles from the nightmare of Patong)