kangaroo valley - riding through tellytubby land

    When I was much younger and living in inner-city Sydney, my girlfriend and I would occasionally catch the red-rattler  train from Central to rural Moss Vale with our bicycles on board.

    We'd slowly meander the backroads of the Southern Highlands admiring exotica like cows and foxes and birds. The green of the fields was reminiscent of tellytubby land. LaaLaa and I would trundle down from the Highlands into Kangaroo Valley, nervously braking at every hairpin bend, before spending the night in a caravan park beside the Kangaroo River. Next morning we'd cycle, or walk, very slowly up to Camberwarra Mountain and down the other side into Bomaderry for another red-rattler back to Sydney. It was a budget weekend away from Newtown.

    Twenty five years later, the backroads are still relatively quiet as I cycle away from Moss Vale, enjoying thirty kilometres of dairy farms, intense greenery and even more intense roadkill. Foxes, wombats, snakes, kangaroos - the fauna of rural life is a regular two-dimensional obstacle course. 'Look LaaLaa, there's another beautiful animal. Quiet... he's sleeping.'

    It's a nasal relief to reach Fitzroy Falls and the surging downhill into Kangaroo Valley - perhaps my favourite traffic sign of all, reads 'LONG STEEP DESCENT.' Pity the downhill only lasts nine minutes before I'm spat out into the bucolic bliss of Kangaroo Valley where I cruise past the Barrengarry Grocery Store advertising the 'best pies in the world'.

    I settle for the 'second best salad roll in the village' at the Kangaroo Valley bakery. I'm still shaking from the descent and the ride across Hampden Bridge, the oldest suspension bridge in Australia, built in 1898 when bicycle tyres weren't quite so thin. The town has a welcoming pub, two kayak hire centres for escapades down the Kangaroo River and this old-style bakery brimming with lamingtons, custard tarts and vanilla slices.

    Weighing only slightly more than TinkyWinky and LaaLaa combined, after lunch, I cycle up Camberwarra Mountain. It's a Category Two climb of seven kilometres, averaging 8.4% gradient. At the top of the hill, I admire the view, wipe my sweating forehead, empty my water bottle and proceed back downhill from whence I came. For today, I'm intent on two mountain climbs - the just completed Camberwarra and the Category One (according to MapMyRide) torture-fest back up Barrengarry Mountain.

    But first, a zip down Camberwarra with expansive views into the valley, if only I could take my eyes off the next hairpin bend. In tellytubby land, the roads would be flourescent pink and marshmallow soft. And ugly men in utes wouldn't play 'scare the cyclist' at fifty-kilometres-per-hour. Still, those men are listening to the whine of Alan Jones on the car radio, while I enjoy the tinker of a rainforest waterfall; the constant whoosh of wind... and the splattering thump of a bug on my sunglasses. The scenery goes from irridescent green to puce yellow. Those cotton wool clouds would come in handy in splatterland right now.

    One more wobble across the Hampden Bridge and the climb begins. A harsh 10 to 12% gradient at the beginning gives way to a steady 6-8% climb. I set a rhythm somewhere south of slow and admire the views, letting my mind drift to the wonders of TinkyWinky, LaaLaa, Po and... what was the name of the fourth tellytubby?

    Before too long, I'm back in the Southern Highlands and... what is that smell? But with the sun setting ahead of me and the thweeke in my gears matching the creak in my knees, I cruise into Moss Vale.

    If you love riding up mountains, there's no better location close to Sydney. Catch the tellytubbies Express from Central.

For a Garmin map of the ride, click here.
Here's a video of my ride.